Impression is a very powerful tool, I believe. For I who holds strongly to my own emotions, it is difficult to change my impression of another. But once changed, it becomes almost impossible to revert. In this case, I am dismissing the 0.1% chance of reverting.

I'll keep this short and precise. I've become really really sick of it. How and why...I'll leave that unspoken. I'm sick to the point that I feel I don't want to have anything to do with it. And I feel disgusted for those who interacts with it. I have absolutely no respect for it. Whatever the future might be, if any interaction is bound to exist, I can only overlook it like it doesn't matter to me. I tend to forget things over time, including emotions. So this entry is simply a reminder to myself that I will hold the same impression for as long as I live, and I do not want to change that.

If I do change, I am going to hate myself.

Lets just say I won't offer it more than neutrality. :]
Meh. Forget everything. When did I ever liked myself that much to keep something going for my own sake? :p


  1. ouch. impression matters only as much as your mind allows it to. =p i believe in seeing the good in each and every. maybe i started young (or too young), the lesson has a firm footing in my mind (actually hard for me to see otherwise too long). heh, makes ppl around more fun to play with. yes, the trade off is you lose a bit more of yourself each time.
    nothing is all good or all bad. i just prefer a choice that is less taxing and hence least effort on my mind. playing with ppl beats getting annoyed at ppl...for me. =)

  2. yes i know and understand that a lot of things only matter as much as the mind allows. but how my mind works is basically very primitive, or raw. being guided purely by emotions. i can't really hate a person every day every min, until that emotion is triggered in me. (that's why i needed a reminder occasionally.) anyways, i don't have to grow up until i see more things in depth like you do. i am contented with knowing how i feel. so impression may not necessarily be important, it's just a description. but along with the description is an emotion, and that emotion does matter.

  3. but errr anyways...i hope the 1-liner i added makes it less aggressive. hehe

  4. heh, din know you added and responded to comments! your added 1-liner does make it less aggressive.
    think there is nothing wrong with going with emotions, except...don't upset yourself or people around you too much (erm, just no follow ma's style too closely lah).

  5. i don't fully agree with "don't upset yourself or people around you too much". ya mama's style is not encouraged. but in this case, he has nothing to do with me. like i care if he is hurt or not. but i will be even more fucking angry if he is not hurt. because then it only shows how fucking idiotic he is to still not realize his stupidity.

    p.s: i am re-editing the post. taking away the 1-liner.

  6. erm, i saw that you removed your 1-liner. not cool, wui wui. to edit, re-edit and then edit-your-re-edit!
    must admit, i'm getting more and more lost as this goes on...