Sigh..I am f--king disappointed with myself for having to make another post about somebody who I swear to not care about. (The first was here.) Unfortunately, this d--- somebody affects one who I love dearly as my family. It's a very stupid incident, I don't wish to speak more about it, at least not now. But the point I want to make here is responsibilities.
Since young I do not have a sense of responsibility. Being the youngest in the family, I have been rather spoilt. Details not important. But as I grow with age, having have to spend 4 years (mostly on my own) in the States, I believe I have grown up a little, and I know anything I do..I have to hold responsibility for myself and for others who I affect. And I am 22 years old now. Many others are much more mature way earlier than I did.
It's very surprising to me that a 26-year-old have absolutely no idea of what responsibility is. In this particular case that got me really angry (to the point that I will cry and decide to write it on my blog), this somebody seems to me that he is trying to shirk responsibilities TWICE. Totally not gentleman-like and rather cowardice. I seriously doubt if he possesses basic humanity. 2 occasions: 1) At the point it happened, he did not make known what he did. Perhaps naively thinking that nothing bad will happen. Or thinking that the other person is stupid and will not realize. 2) Now that things got a little fishy, he is praying in his little pathetic corner that it will not happen. Keep pressing on with thoughtless questions just shows that you do not care about anyone else but YOURSELF.
Anyone can be ignorant, childish, immature at times. But AT LEAST, please, show that you can act like a human being. You have evolved from being a primitive animal to one that has a intelligence. SHOW IT. Not by mugging and getting straight A's in school, but that you can grow AS a human.
If you are reading this by any chance (please do!), I hope you are smart enough to know that I'm talking about you. Before you piss me even more that I have to tear down your painted mask publicly to reveal your real ugly face. Of course, you can attempt to ignore all that I have said. But I will [quote] what I just commented in my first post about you..."i will be even more fucking angry if he is not hurt. because then it only shows how fucking idiotic he is to still not realize his stupidity."
wui wui, you are right in saying that ppl grow up and eventually learn to take up more responsibilities. i think you have grown up a lot too! and i am very proud of that. everyone has their own agenda and some ppl just have too much on their plate to handle more responsibilities. heh, learnt that when i was reading dog books. not all dogs can be an alpha...
ReplyDeletethanks for your reminder.
ReplyDeletegiven the timing of these events, i did not hope to hear kind words. but i have, from others. because you are not directly involved, i am surprised at how certain you think you are of my actions, especially when we have limited interaction.
in any case, you are free to express your thoughts and i will keep your words in mind.
i hope this does not technically violate your request of not talking to you again. i will respect your request strictly from now on.
[original comment @10:22am]
ReplyDeletemmm....
i do not give kind words because i don't think that will help someone realize what is wrong. kind words is just to console a person when something has gone wrong, because nothing else can be done to change the outcome. but kind words help the person to overlook the fact that they might have done something wrong. it soothes the uneven feeling, so in the end a person need not reflect on what he/she did.
i'm not very precise with my wording sometimes, given that i wrote this when i was really angry. so words will seem harsh. but you probably don't know how i function. so let me put a note here. i don't have the heart to keep disliking/loathing anyone. i may scold them like i hate them in the guts this min, but it doesn't stay in my mind, until i am reminded of it again. i have many things in life that troubles me sometimes, if i have to sulk over each and everything all the time, will take too much energy and meaningless that i might as well just commit suicide. having said this, commenting here does not violate my request. even talking to me personally does not always violate it.
what i meant more is to not hear/see such occasions again. all i care about is whether you understand why i said what i said in the post. if you only pay attention to those spiteful words, then it's very disappointing. if you don't realize what I feel you did wrong, or you feel being accused of something you did, then that's very disappointing too. because you're not learning, not growing, and things like that is likely to happen again. in that case, then yes...i would hope to minimize any interactions with you in the future.
i heard from my sister that you have changed over the past couple of days. from this reply, it's not clear to me that you understood my point in the post. in fact, quite the opposite feeling i got. because 1) however indirect i may be involved...i said, responsibilities is not just about you, but also other ppl that you affect. yes you affect my sister. but do you not think my sister does affect me? the biggest person will take responsibilities for even the most distant and trivial effect. one minor and common example: throwing away food here while others in Africa have nothing to eat. there are many more even more noble things to do, i just can't think of it now. i'm not a person like that, and i don't expect you to be. but least i expect a good person to be is to take responsibilities up to the 2nd level. in this case it is family, and the future (for you/my sister). if you were just a friend of my sister, i wouldn't even bother to listen to such stories. so don't be too surprised if i expressed too strong opinions again. also, this is not about preconceived notions. i have absolutely no problems with these situations. but one must show responsibilities for what they are doing at all times...BEFORE AND AFTER things happen.
2) i think you were more troubled by spiteful words and reaction than the topic at hand. i apologize i cannot separate the two when i type, because i am very much guided by my emotions. if you took it emotionally previously, i hope you can reread from another pov.
feel free to correct me anything if i'm wrong. i agree we have very limited reactions. i can only form opinions based on words and impressions. impressions may be hard to change, but they can be if it's hard proven to be false. that is, only if you care.
[this comment is edited to re-emphasize certain points and to protect certain privacy issue (you're lucky if you saw the earlier version)]